So I went out for a smoke around 4:30AM and heard a really loud growling sound. Thought it might be a fox getting ready to attack its prey. (The neighbourhood I live in has quite a number of foxes. Apparently one gave birth to nine pups last year, so they're just roaming around now. When you hear one of them attacking an animal and tearing it apart, it's... disturbing, to say the least.) Anyway, I quickly went back inside and went upstairs to my bedroom, 'cause like, growling animals in the middle of the night is gonna be a no from me, dawg. As I got ready for bed, I heard even louder growling coming from the direction of my windows (which faces the front of the house) and was wondering what the fuck it was because it sounded pretty close but I was on the second level. So I turned off the lights in the bedroom, opened the blinds, and saw this raccoon on the neighbour's roof. He totally saw me, too, and started acting all innocent and shit. DON'T EVEN GIVE ME THAT LOOK, YOU FUCKING FURRY BANDIT. I KNOW YOU'RE UP TO NO GOOD.
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