Jin — "Abyss"

I listened to this song before reading the lyrics or Jin's message that accompanied this song, and without any context, I just thought, "Damn, this song is really, really sad." When I finally read the lyrics and Jin's message, I just had this feeling of deep melancholy and something akin to regret, never realizing how depressed Jin felt or how burnt out he was, which just goes to show how good they are at hiding their feelings in public. Jin especially never shows us anything but his bright, happy self, always making jokes and goofing around, which I think makes this song even sadder. I'm glad he was able to use this as an emotional outlet, and I really hope that Jin is feeling lighter and happier these days, and that he realizes that he does deserve all the recognition and awards that BTS are getting.

Holding my breath, I step into my sea, I go

I face myself, so beautiful yet crying so sadly

To myself in that darkness,

I want to seek him out and speak these words

Today, I want to know you better, yeah

I'm still there within myself

My voice doesn't come out, just lingering

That dark place

I want to drown in it, I want to go there

I'll be there

Today, as always, I linger by your side

The more I go towards you, the more I run out of breath

And you only seem to get further away

Have I perhaps entered a deeper sea?

To myself in that sea

I want to seek him out and speak these words

Today, I want to know you better, yeah

I'm still there within myself

My voice doesn't come out, just lingering

That dark place

I want to drown in it, I want to go there

I'll be there

Today, again, I close my eyes by your side, just like this

(Lyric translations: Bangtan Subs and Wisha)

"Hello, it's Jin.

Recently, in a press conference, I said words such as this:

'I don’t like to share my sad feelings with the fans. This is because I only want to show them the good things. However, I feel differently if it's through music. I don't like to share it through my everyday actions, but I think it would be okay to  show them through music.'

To tell you the truth, I was severely burnt out recently, and I think it was because I had many thoughts regarding myself.

I received congratulations from many people regarding the 1st place on Billboard's Hot 100 Chart, but I wondered whether I deserved to receive such things.

There are honestly a lot of people who love music and are better at music than me, so is it okay for me to receive such joy and congratulations?

I had such thoughts, and it was delving further into this that made my heart heavy and want to lay down all things.

I received counselling regarding this issue and spent each day as they were before having a conversation with Bang PD who suggested whether I'd like to express such feelings through music. 

I gave the response that I didn't have the confidence to make it well, was worried the end result wouldn't be good, and was already at a level in which such things would not be acceptable... but Bang PD said such things weren't important. But if I was to do it, he promised that I would do well, and he would find someone who would match well with me. 

It is in this way I was able to meet composer Bumju Gye hyungnim and speak to him about many things including my feelings. 

It turns out he's a bright and positive person. Hyungnim said he wanted to help me and said with positive strength, 'Let's try writing about many anxieties. If it doesn't work out, we can simply try again,' which brightened me up again.

We spoke about many things in such a way, and he was able to make a track that expressed my feelings as they were in that very place, and by using this as a vehicle to write about the things I wanted to say, 'Abyss' was finished. I want to say once again that I’m thankful to Bumju Gye. 

It's a sort of depressing song that doesn't befit a birthday, but I thought it would be more awkward to release it on a day that wasn't my birthday, so I have indeed released 'Abyss.' 

ARMYs, even if its lacking, please listen to it well.

PS. Thank you to our leader-nim who wrote the lyrics for the chorus."

(Original message: BigHit Blog
Message translations: Wisha)