Halsey and Suga's collab for Halsey's upcoming album, Manic, dropped today, and it is one of the most beautiful, self-reflective, melancholic songs I have ever heard. And one that is especially resonating with me because I resigned from my job of nine years today, a decision that took me nearly a year to make. This was absolutely the right decision to make for me and I have absolutely no regrets on leaving, but as I end this nearly decade-long chapter of my life, I need to take some time to deeply reflect on what makes me truly happy and what I want to do next. In the meantime, I will use this song — a near-perfect summation of my feelings right now — as a comfort to know that everyone goes through this eventually.
To separate the time
In between the having it all and giving it up, yeah
Eh, in my head, these wanderings that are only full of blue
In my mind, living are self-loathing and excessive pride
I, full of dreams, grew up to have all my dreams realized
But, at the same time, am living with a thought
That dreams are better when kept as dreams
That my leap would not be my fall
That your convictions, efforts, beliefs, and ambitions
Are not ugly nor dirty, I believe, eh
Though the dawn right before the sunrise is darker than anything
Never forget that the stars you longed for
Only rise in darkness
I've been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all and giving it up, yeah
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore
If I'm stuck between the
Having it all and giving it up, yeah
Sometimes I wonder if I'm walking on the right path
What else will be there if I run unceasingly towards the end of the tunnel
And if it is right to do so in the first place
Honestly, it's different from the future I hoped for
But that doesn't matter, now it's the matter of survival
However it turns out, that doesn't matter
Yeah, yeah, things might be different from what you wanted
Things you live for as well as things you love might change
That's true, that's true, that's true
Yeah, so are you gonna move?
We're too young to drag our feet
So let's try crashing into it
So what you gonna do?
I'm been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all and giving it up, yeah
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore
If I'm stuck between the
Having it all and giving it up, yeah
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